Words to Live By

If we are willing to look at another person’s behaviour towards us as a reflection of the state of their relationship with themselves rather than as a statement about our value as a person, we will over a period of time cease to react to all.

No More 'Whys"

I get these newsletters daily from Neale Walsch. I wanted to share this one.
So often clients try so hard to figure out why someone did something to them, or why they think a certain way, or why they did something stupid. Sometimes, we don't know the answer so in the meantime, while we are trying to figure it out, think about this...
...that "Why is this happening?" is the most useless
question in the Universe.

The only really profitable question is, "What?" As in,
"What do I choose now?" This question empowers.
The "why" question simply perplexes, and rarely
satisfies even when it gets a good answer.

So don't try to "figure it out." Stop it. Just focus on
what you now wish to create. Keep moving forward.
There's nothing behind you that can possibly serve
you better than your highest thoughts about tomorrow.

Get Rid of the 'Neg Nogs'

‘ Neg Nogs’ – Definition: Negative Noggins –
otherwise known as negative thinkers – often
unwittingly imposing their negative energy on
others.
I am often amazed that people put more energy
into negative thoughts and less into positive
thoughts. Strangely, we believe negative thinking is
more realistic than positive thinking. I see my
clients believing that positive thinking is something
“out there” – almost imaginary or not attainable.
Negative thoughts are the opposite of positive
thoughts. That’s all; nothing more spectacular than
that. We simply exercise our choice by choosing the
negative over the positive. We are often very clear
about what is wrong or negative in our lives, and yet
we struggle to create a more positive outlook.
We all know one or two people who complain about
everything! It is important to surround ourselves
with positive people, places, and events.
“Character is built out of circumstances. From
exactly the same materials, one person builds
palaces while another builds hovels.”- G.H. Lewis
Negative people build hovels. Positive people build
palaces.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

The book’s premise is that we all could benefit from learning to relax, breath, and contemplate how we really want to live life. I went looking for coping skills on how to better manage the external aspects of my busy life, but discovered that the secrets were in how I was internally thinking and/or reacting to life. Whole new worlds of thinking were opened up to me that gave me an inkling of what my life could be like if I could adjust my approach. Those big challenges that were constantly getting in my way were only as ‘big’ as I let them be. What if I could internally view them as ‘small stuff’?

As I read I recognized myself and my thinking patterns almost instantly, and then I started turning down the corners of various pages. For example, chapter 2 (only 1.5 pages into the book) is titled, ‘Make Peace with Imperfection’. What? You mean I don’t have to be perfect in everything that I do in order to be OK? I don’t remember Mom telling me that! Chapter 3; ‘Let Go of the Idea that Gentle, Relaxed People Can’t Be Superachievers’. And, he even has true life examples of calm people achieving great things! Wow, wouldn’t that be cool to be a successful person whose heart is not always racing? Chapter 4; ‘Be Aware of the Snowball Effect of Your Thinking’. You know how that goes. Have one scary or stressful thought, and then let that roll into the next scary thought, and then you are moving into a crisis, and then that crisis is going to bankrupt you, and then you will have no family or friends left, and then what will you do? All this and you are still laying in bed trying to get back to sleep. Hmmm! Maybe this is just in your head. Maybe you’re not going to have a crisis and be alone for the rest of your life. Maybe if you had consciously stopped your imagination after that first scary thought and decided not to go bankrupt tonight while trying to sleep, you could actually go back to sleep and continue living your life again tomorrow morning.

I chuckle when I look back now at my copy of the book. Four of the first five chapters have the corners turned down, and then I must have realized that I was going to ruin the whole book if I continued in this pattern. So I just settled in, two minutes at a time, hidden up in the master bathroom, a couple of times a day, getting life lessons from a great little, insightful and thought provoking book. Little did I know that that was only the beginning of my journey towards a more calm, confident, and joyful approach to life. I’ll let you know when I get there completely, but in the meantime I am loving the journey.

Visit Kim @

http://www.linkedin.com/in/kimsunderland