Mystresschat

Attention HR Managers!

2010-09-14T14:06:00.001-07:00

Ministry of Labor's Pains and Strains Campaign Awareness Seminar

Are You Ready?

Purpose of the Seminar

To provide information to you on the MOL blitz
To discuss the top 5 hazards in companies that inspectors will be looking for and specifically the ways you identify,validate and address ergonomic concerns in your facility

Discuss how cognitive ergonomics can play an important role in improving your employees overall performance.
Date: October 20, 2010

Time: 9-11
Cost: 25.00
Location: Casablanca Winery Inn

4 Windward Dr., Grimsby, ON

Join Nancy Hume-Meletti, MSC.Erg., CCPE and Heidi Cowie RSW

To sign up please visit: http://www.ergonomicstrategies.com

or

http://www.mystresschat.ca

Assumptions

2010-08-09T05:56:00.001-07:00

Everything is a story we tell ourselves and every story is based on hidden assumptions. Once these assumptions are uncovered, we enter into a kingdom of possibilities.
How do we change our stories and assumptions?
1.If we are clinging to thoughts that make us feel bad, ask yourself if you are carrying around other people's expectations and rules.Who made up that rule?
2.Change the rule. Think a new thought often
3.If you really want to do something you will find a way. If you don't, you will find an excuse!

Burlington Chamber of Commerce Event

2010-06-12T13:35:00.000-07:00

Join me for a networking breakfast and seminar.

Stress Reduction 101

Being an entrepreneur can be stressful. Are you concerned about your next sale, your employees, dealing with clientele, and the home issues? Then attending Stress Reduction 101 will help give you insight into the “whys?” along with some practical “how to” answers. Stress is here to stay but how we handle it can make all the difference in the world. Stress Reduction 101 is an entrepreneurial customized workshop . . . practical, interactive and fun! Learning useful tips to help manage and feel less stress at work, develop skills, create a stronger team helping you to build a successful business. Learn from two experts with over 20 years of experience in stress management and emotional health.

Topics for Stress Reduction 101:

Coping in crazy times - being aware of your personal stress “temperature” and learning ways to bring it down

Creative thinking and problem solving to manage our own emotions and the emotions of others

Improving personal and sales skills by learning techniques to remain calm and in control

Learning the links between stress and illness and how this can be avoided.

The Link Between Stress and Absenteeism

2010-04-29T09:11:00.000-07:00

According to Statistics Canada, December 19, 2007, high self-perceived work stress was strongly related to taking disability days. Almost one in five men and women who perceived their regular work days to be stressful took at least one disability day in the last two weeks.

In a representative study by Angus Reid of 1000 employees across Canada, 55%
of workers felt they were stressed and had too much to do in too little time.
According to Northwestern National Life, one-fourth of employees view their
jobs as the number one stressor in their lives.

According to Canada Safety Council report dated April 2008; mental health
claims are the fastest growing category of disability costs in Canada. They account for an estimated 30 to 40 percent of the disability claims recorded by Canada’s major insurers and employers. Three-quarters of employers say mental health issues are the leading cause of short and long term disability claims in their organization.

According to the Institute for the Study of Labour, people who report some
stress in their jobs are 10-14% more likely to be absent from work.

“Do I Stay or Do I Go?”-An uncomplicated way to improve morale and increase retention

2010-04-28T09:05:00.000-07:00

You have just laid off three employees and the remaining staff are stressed and fearful that they may be next or; they are stressing over how they will manage the increased workload. How do you keep morale up, retain your talent and maintain or improve productivity? Improve your communication. No human relationship, whether it’s a marriage or a corporation, will thrive if the communication breaks down.
I had worked for a pharmaceutical company for five years and we were able to retain our talent and keep morale high.
What was our secret? Why did people stay with our company? The communication was open and encouraged from the President through to the sales reps. Consistent communication diminishes the fear and stress in the work environment and diminishing or reducing stress is key to morale, productivity, and retention.
Quick Tips
1. Learn to communicate effectively. If communication is not your strength, hire an executive coach. Good communicators are taught not born.
2. Listen. Listening is active not passive. Give people the opportunity to share their success stories and their problems.
3. Lead by being positive. Positive leaders instill trust, hope, a sense of worth and competency in their people.
According to Saratoga research Institute, 89% of managers believe employees leave for more money and 88% of employees leave for reasons other than money.

Hands On Tips for Coping with Stress at Work

2010-04-27T08:59:00.000-07:00

1. Communication- keep people in the know as much as possible.Provide them with relevant and timely information.

2. Prioritize- everyone feels the stress and it worsens when you get twice the workload because your buddy called in a sick day. Look at the work, create a list of action items, prioritize,move forward.

3. Remain focused on the present. Stop getting anxious or fearful about what might happen 3 days from now. Ask yourself, "what are three things I can move forward today?". This will help you to remain on target.

4. Take your breaks.A quick 5 minute walk will restore some balance.

Work Related Stress

2010-04-26T08:49:00.000-07:00

Stress has 3 components
1)The event- can be physical or emotional-perceived as a threat
2)The brain- how is the threat being processed by the brain
3)Stres response- how we adjust our behaviour to the threat

How we define the stressor depends on the meaning we attach or give it.Meaning comes from our own unique experiences in life. If we lived with a physically abusive parent, then conflict on the job would cause significant stress.

In stressful times, our bodies physically react before we "think things through".
Your mother was right, count to 10 and take deep breaths before you react.

Are You Stressed?

2010-04-25T09:32:00.000-07:00

Depend on 20 years of reputable counselling and coaching experience
Get the techniques you need to safely and carefully reduce stress
Our counsellors and coaches are here to provide you with prudent and trusted advice

Imagine. Counselling and coaching you trust from your home, your office, or virtually anywhere. Now you can have fast, friendly, professional, and secure counselling on-line.

Visit us at http://www,mystresschat.ca

Welcome to The Company of Women

2010-04-25T09:24:00.000-07:00

Every day thousands of business owners, employees, managers, customer service representatives, health care workers and emergency response professionals are faced with work-related stress that over time creates mental and physical illnesses.

For many people, seeking counseling is shameful or embarrassing. Stresschat’s unique one-on-one instant chat puts you in direct contact with a counsellor without going to an office. You get total anonymity with the expertise of a professional.

We are pleased to have partnered with Company of Women to offer an exclusive offer to members. Considering the health impact of unmanaged stress, this web-based service can prove to be invaluable to you and your work place. It is available when needed, offers help and is anonymous.

Company of Women members receive a 10% saving off the regular fees.
See what the Company or Women can offer you.http://www.companyofwomen.ca

Effects of Chronic Stress

2010-04-25T09:14:00.001-07:00

Short-lived or infrequent episodes of stress pose little risk. But when stressful situations go unresolved, the body is kept in a constant state of activation, which increases the rate of wear and tear to biological systems. Ultimately, fatigue or damage results, and the ability of the body to repair and defend itself can become seriously compromised. As a result, the risk of injury or disease escalates.
In the past 20 years, many studies have looked at the relationship between job stress and a variety of ailments. Mood and sleep disturbances, upset stomach and headache, and disturbed relationships with family and friends are examples of stress-related problems that are quick to develop and are commonly seen in these studies. These early signs of job stress are usually easy to recognize. But the effects of job stress on chronic diseases are more difficult to see because chronic diseases take a long time to develop
and can be influenced by many factors other than stress. Nonetheless, evidence is rapidly accumulating to suggest that stress plays an important role in several types of chronic health problems-especially cardiovascular disease, musculoskeletal disorders, and psychological disorders.

Cardiovascular Disease
Many studies suggest that psychologically demanding jobs that allow employees little control over the work process increase the risk of cardiovascular disease.
Musculoskeletal Disorders
On the basis of research by NIOSH and many other organizations, it is widely believed that job stress increases the risk for development of back and upper- extremity musculoskeletal disorders.
As previously mentioned, chronic stress has been linked to an increase in viral and bacterial infections. "Even if better coping with job stress produces only small reductions in the incidence, duration, or severity of such illnesses, a much reduced problem
of infectious disease contagion may be achieved." (Journal of Applied
Psychology)
The research has proven that chronic stress can lead to depression. According to the Unheralded Business Crises in Canada, wrong or partial treatment of depressed personnel invades the workplace. The depressed employees may be half-functional. “This is truly a case of the walking-wounded whose capacity can undermine the spirit and effectiveness of co-workers who are forced to pick up the slack for reasons they attribute naturally, but wrongly, to “attitude or behavior” on the part of the partly-disabled. Effects on work can include: problems with decision-making and concentration, lower productivity, more errors and accidents, and an increase in absenteeism.”

Work,Stress, and Health

2010-04-25T09:08:00.001-07:00

The modern usage of the term “stress” originated in Canada just over 50 years ago. Dr. Hans Selye (1907-1982), the first director of the Université de Montréal’s Institute of Experimental Medicine and Surgery, first coined the term. He identified two kinds of stress: good stress, which contributes to wellness; and bad stress, which contributes to disease and sickness.
Since then, we have grown increasingly more knowledgeable in the study of acute and chronic stress and the effects on our physical, mental, and emotional health.
The right kind of stress energizes and motivates employees. The wrong kind leads to absenteeism, disability, staff turnover and low productivity. This destructive type of stress is of growing concern to employers. Studies suggest that work stress may increase a person's risk for cardiovascular disease, psychological disorders, workplace injury, and other health problems. Early warning signs may include headaches, sleep
disturbances, difficulty concentrating, job dissatisfaction, and low morale, but sometimes these clues are not apparent.
In occupational psychology, work-related stress has been linked to both the physical and mental health problems across a broad section of the working population. People under stress are reported to suffer adverse personal health, including ulcers, high blood pressure, heart attacks and even death. Studies in behavioural sciences have shown that poor employee performance, absenteeism, and high labour market turnover are all
linked to worker stress.
“The people who report being burned-out generally were describing a phenomenon of partial disengagement from their work, loss of motivation, winding down, and turning off which is probably related to a form of taking psychological flight.”
http://www.safety-council.org:80/info/OSH/mentalhealth.html

Leontaridi, R., Ward, M.Work. Related Stress, Quitting Intentions and Absenteeism. http://www.iza.org/

Changing Our Beliefs

2010-04-25T08:41:00.000-07:00

Our belief system is at the core of who we are. Often, when we uncover a flawed premise or belief, we immediately think "this is going to be hard to change".
I recommend following the 3 "A Process"
Awareness- identify the belief that is not positive
Acceptance- accept and acknowledge that this is a belief that can be changed
Adjustment-now replace the negative thought with a positive thought.
A belief is just a thought you think a lot.If you start thinking a new thought a lot, you change your beliefs.

The Universal Triggers for Stress

2010-04-11T07:34:00.000-07:00

Three factors that universally lead to stress are:
1.Uncertainty
2.lack of information
3.lack of control
In his book, Dr. Gabor Mate looks at the hidden cost of stress. It's one of the best books I have read on the effects of chronic stress.
In my practice, I am always suggesting various books, meditation CDs etc. so I discovered that I now can add a link directly to Amazon.I will be reviewing and recommending publications on a consistent basis.

One out of Ten Canadians Struggle with PTSD

2010-03-30T04:52:00.000-07:00

Researchers at McMaster University in Hamilton have released the findings of a national survey that found the rate of lifetime Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) among Canadians was estimated at 9.2 per cent. Altogether, 76.1 per cent of Canadians have been exposed to at least one traumatic event, such as the unexpected death of a loved one, sexual assault or seeing someone badly injured or killed.
PTSD can be accurately diagnosed and effectively treated. As with other health problems, PTSD is more effectively treated if identified early. Delay in treatment
can lead to aggravated symptoms and can also impede recovery (www.forces.gc.ca).
Most people do not go for counselling soon enough. They wonder whether their problems are ‘bad enough’ to warrant the need of a professional. Time and convenience are also an issue. People sometimes need instant help with little or no interruption to their routines or work commitments.
Stresschat™ is an immediate response tool allowing any subscriber quick, confidential and anonymous access to a qualified counsellor and stress specialist―right at their fingertips. Once you become a client, you are given a confidential email which allows you to log in to the instant messenger chat program. From there, you can begin talking to one of our counsellors right away. It’s that simple.
Don’t let the long-term effects of stress affect your life and the life of your family.
Click here to find the support you need.
www.mystresschat.ca

How to have a Lovely Day

2010-03-29T16:36:00.000-07:00

How to Have a Lovely Day

…In ten easy steps

1. Smile at strangers

2. Slow down

3. Say thank you

4. Give lots of compliments

5. Dress Nicely

6. Wear perfume

7. Observe and listen

8. Be charming

9. Laugh

10. Wish people a lovely day

Process from www.everythingfab.com

Motherhood

2010-03-29T04:36:00.000-07:00

To all the mothers in the world. To those women who dedicate their lives to raising healthy children. This is a beautiful poem.Enjoy!

The Girl I Used To Be

She came tonight as I sat alone,
The girl I used to be.

She gazed at me with her earnest eye
And questioned reproachfully.

"Have you forgotten the many plans
And hopes that I had for you?"

"The great career, the splendid fame,
All the wonderful things to do?"

"Where is the mansion of stately height
With all its gardens rare?"

"The silken robes that I dreamed for you
And the jewels in your hair?"

And as she spoke, I was very sad
For I wanted her pleased with me...
This slender girl I used to be.

So gently rising, I took her hand,
And guided her up the stairs

Where peacefully sleeping, my babies lay
So innocent, sweet, and fair.

I told her that these are my only gems,
And Precious they are to me.

That silken robe is my Motherhood
Of costly simplicity.

And my mansion of stately height is love,
And the only career I know,

Is serving each day in these sheltered walls
For the dear ones who come and go.

And as I spoke to my shadowy guest,
She smiled through her tears at me

And I saw the woman I am now...
Pleased the girl I used to be.

Author: Rowena K.Lewis

Testimonials

2010-03-25T12:30:00.000-07:00

What our clients are saying about Mystresschat.

I have known people with “anxiety” disorders. I truly did not understand their problems until I had to deal with my own anxiety. Knowing how to deal with anxiety and stress is something that must be learned. It does not come naturally. There are techniques.
C.P.-Hamilton

Heidi emphasized the “practice” of the techniques to relieve stress and anxiety. There is the “8 second rule”, the “grounding exercise”, the “say yes to less”, and much more. These strategies are not inherited but learned, and in order to learn, one must study, and in order to study, you must have a good teacher.

Heidi makes you feel special and important. She is non-judgmental and honest. She is easy to talk to, understanding, informative, friendly, compassionate, encouraging and optimistic. It’s refreshing to speak to a professional and get easy-to-learn strategies and honest criticism - learning ways for improvement. We are never too old to learn anything new.

I would recommend Heidi to anyone.

I felt an immediate sense of trust. I did not feel judged, or feel expectations as we sometimes feel with professionals in a field not our own. Heidi is compassionate as well as gifted in getting an individual to see what they need to develop without being told outright what it is. A "light" goes on, and it comes together. That way of dealing with personal issues allows trust as you do not question whether or not you are going in the right direction biased on the the professionals' own viewpoint, but from your own. Trust was also built in the way that Heidi makes herself available in several avenues; I could count on her. Through visits, email and phone conversations I got the support I needed when I needed it most. This is extremely rare.
J.S.-Oakville

The High Cost of Stress

2010-03-15T07:16:00.000-07:00

We know the facts. We have been studying stress and its effect on physical health since the late 1880’s. So why do we still have such a problem in our work and personal lives.

People do not go for help in a timely fashion-which is normal. We all think we need to figure stuff out on our own without going to therapy.

Stress is part of our lives and at times, it can be good. Our bodies create the stress response when we have happy unexpected surprises. The problem is chronic stress. When we are exposed to constant stress our bodies have a hard time in balancing the increase in cortisol, sugar, amino acids etc. that are racing through our blood stream. As a therapist, I have seen clients who are not even aware that their level of stress is damaging to their bodies and their emotional health. It has been proven that chronic stress can lead to depression, anxiety, sleep deprivation, and physical illness. I often see people who have tolerated high levels of stress until they can no longer function at home or at work.

According to Canada Safety Council report dated April 2008; mental health claims are the fastest growing category of disability costs in Canada. They account for an estimated 30 to 40 percent of the disability claims recorded by Canada’s major insurers and employers. Three-quarters of employers say mental health issues are the leading cause of short and long term disability claims in their organization.

· Lost work time due to depression costs companies $31 billion to 441 billion per year in lost productivity

· 79% of employers think they take care of their employees, yet only 44% of employees agree

· Health care expenditures are nearly 50% greater for workers who report high levels of stress

I have always found it odd that people see a dentist for a sore tooth, a lawyer for a sore legal problem, a doctor for a sore body part yet when our hearts are sore, we are expected to” tough it out”.

A therapist will give you the skills and education you need to cope with stresses in a positive and constructive manner. Today’s technology makes it easy to get professional advice from home, your mobile device-virtually anywhere.

Don’t wait until you crash and burn. Be proactive and get the advice you need now.

The Launch of Mystresschat

2010-03-14T08:35:00.000-07:00

WOW!!!! A New and Innovative Service!

Imagine. Counselling and coaching you trust from your home, your office, or virtually anywhere. Now you can have fast, professional, friendly,and secure counselling and coaching on line.Mystresschat is an on line messaging service.

We give you fast access to completely confidential and anonymous coaching. It's as easy as chatting with your friends and you are getting expert advice from professionals with over 20 years of experience.
When you become a member, you get the first 15 minutes of chat time FREE.

Log on to http://www.mystresschat.ca and find comfort and solutions now. First time or a returning client, it doesn't matter. It's O.K.. That's why we are here.

Convenient,fast, trusted counselling and coaching
Anonymous, confidential, secure
Safe, sensitive, and personal

We use today's technology to improve our everyday lives.

International Women's Day

2010-03-10T04:28:00.000-08:00

Let's chat about public speaking. Next to death, it's what people fear the most. I admit, each time I step up to the podium, I get a bit nervous. I was asked to give a presentation for the Halton Women's shelter who were celebrating international women's day with their own event.
The event was terrific. There were aboriginal drummers, singers, guest speakers and we all focused on celebration, achievement, and empowerment.
Now for the sadness. Last year the 2 shelters housed 800 women and 1000 children. It runs at capacity constantly. Adult family violence crosses all economic, social, and religious boundaries a and is often the dreaded silent secret.
People "don't want to interfere"and so it often remains a silent violence. Except for the effect on the children.
Abuse is all about power and control- not love.

http://www.youtube.com/user/mystresschat?feature=mhw5

Welcome to Youtube!

2010-03-07T13:09:00.000-08:00

Let's chat about technology. In some respects, I am behind the eight ball when it comes to Youtube, and other forms of social media-but I am learning. The videos that will be uploaded will be full of hints and strategies to manage and cope with the stresses in life.
Here's the first one. A bit rough around the edges!

http://www.youtube.com/user/mystresschat

Decluttering

2010-02-28T13:00:00.000-08:00

Let's chat about clutter. You know what I'm talking about-the linen closets, drawers,the office desk,the dreaded locker room! I will often advise people that when they are feeling cluttered in the mind, physically decluttering a space is very therapeutic. Sort out the closets and sort out the mind
For those of you who can't bear the thought of even unlocking the lock on the locker room door, call my good friend Steve. He specializes in decluttering with ruthless compassion.
http://www.decluttering.ca

Good Advice Canada Wide

2010-02-24T04:02:00.000-08:00

Let's chat about being famous.

In one of my previous blogs I wrote about the importance of employees getting prudent, safe, swift, confidential, and trusted advice. Heidi's advice has gone Canada wide! Here are the links to an article entitled, "The Approval Addict" written by Joanne Richard.

Social Responsibility Starts With Caring for Our Employees

2010-02-21T09:38:00.000-08:00

Let's chat about why mental health in the workplace matters. No one likes to talk about it but the most proactive and forward thinking companies are seriously addressing mental health.
Here are some stats:

Depression will rank second only to heart disease as the leading cause of disability worldwide by 2020.

In response to "what would people think" people often conceal their symptoms and fail to seek treatment.

57% of graduating business students around the world claim their primary choice of employer will be one that creates and values a work/life balance

Number of days lost for short-term disability:mental health-72,heart disease-37
The direct cost for absenteeism in Canada accounts for 7.1% but when you factor in the indirect costs, you are looking at 17% of the total wage bill.

When we are faced with severe stress, our bodies respond by dumping an increased amount of cortisol and insulin in the bloodstream. Heart rate increases and our ability to problem solve decreases. It has been scientifically proven that if someone gets help immediately, the body responds immediately by calming down.
People need access to swift, trusted, confidential,anonymous, and safe counselling and coaching.

Presenteeism-It Sure Looks As If You Are Working

2010-02-20T10:37:00.000-08:00

Let's chat about presenteeism.This term describes the employee who shows up for work but is not focused or productive. Usually stress is the cause. It could be money woes, stress at home, not being happy with the job, or the feeling that there will always be too much work and never enough time to complete it.
As managers and employers, it's important to address presenteeism as avidly as we address absenteeism. What are some of the signs?

aggressiveness
Impatience
problems with interpersonal relationships
disinterest
frequent mood swings

In the series Mental Health At Work by Laval University, they suggest establishing a working group, determine the scope of the problem, identify the causes, develop strategies and evaluate the results.

Employee Engagement

2010-02-15T05:06:00.000-08:00

Let's chat about keeping staff engaged. Here is an article that I wrote on

“Do I Stay or Do I Go?”-An uncomplicated way to improve morale and increase retention

I had worked for a pharmaceutical company for five years and we were able to retain our talent and keep morale high.

What was our secret? Why did people stay with our company? The communication was open and encouraged from the President through to the sales reps. Consistent communication diminishes the fear and stress in the work environment and diminishing or reducing stress is key to morale, productivity, and retention.

Quick Tips

1. Learn to communicate effectively. If communication is not your strength, hire an executive coach. Good communicators are taught not born.

2. Listen. Listening is active not passive. Give people the opportunity to share their success stories and their problems.

3. Lead by being positive. Positive leaders instill trust, hope, a sense of worth and competency in their people.

According to Saratoga research Institute, 89% of managers believe employees leave for more money and 88% of employees leave for reasons other than money.

Recharging the Batteries

2010-02-12T03:05:00.000-08:00

Let's chat about taking a break. In case I haven't mentioned it, I am the "Stresschat Mama"(to be read with a James Brown voice instead of I am the cause of stress:)). Clients come to me with various issues that cause them stress. Our brains are not wired for chronic stress and if we don't take breaks periodically from the stresses, we get ill.
I decided to practice what I preach so we went to a cottage near Parry Sound called Whisperwood. It sits on 91 glorious acres of pine forest and has it's own private lake. I had forgotten what night looks like and what quiet sounds like.
We snowshoed, hiked, watched a million DVDs, cooked wonderful food and slept.
One morning, I got up early to let the dog out and the snow was lightly falling through the pines. It looked like miniature crystals floating towards earth.
If you ever find your way near Parry Sound, check out the cottages. You are in for a true rest.

A Celebration of Life

2010-02-07T04:00:00.001-08:00

Let's chat about celebrations.Yesterday I attended a celebration of life for a man I never knew. I knew his sister and wanted to support her.
We are a loss denying society. We focus on getting things and acquiring stuff but we rarely talk about loss and death.
Clients are embarrassed when they start to cry remembering the death of someone close. There is this silly "rule" that after 3 months, we are supposed to be over the grief. This is very wrong.
I tell my clients that once you have experienced a death, you will always feel the wave of emotion and grief. Sometimes it will feel like a ripple and other times, like a tidal wave. What to do? Ride the wave.
The man's name was Albert and I got to know him yesterday. I saw a slide show of his childhood and growing up years. He was an avid sky diver and jumped around the world.(all his sky diving buddies were there in formation). He once worked as a trader at the TSE and he practiced Buddhism. His sister told us he was kind and gentle man.

Since I know my daughter reads my blog, here is my request.I have decided when it is my time to cross over, there will be no funeral broo-ha-ha ( as Mom would say) Nope not for me. Quick service with immediate family and then about 2 weeks later a giant party. Caterers, music, drinks the works. I like the idea of celebrating a life. Thanks Jeanne.

Now...as someone once told me"every day above ground is a good day"- go and enjoy!

Anxious Annie

2010-02-05T04:02:00.000-08:00

Let's chat about anxiety and panic attacks. First, let me emphasize that anxiety is always about the fear of losing control. It is one of the most treatable and manageable emotional states if you consult with someone for the right tools and strategies. Here are some of my tips.

There is a six step approach to self-control when dealing with an anxiety attack.

Recognize that you are feeling anxious. Accept your body feelings as a symptom of your anxiety and a sign that something is bothering you.

Try to figure out what is really bothering you. Is it some type of conflict that you don’t want to deal with? Is it a scary thought? Is it a ridiculous expectation you have of yourself? How about the T.V. program you watched last night? What is bothering you?

Give yourself permission to feel anxious about whatever it is that is bothering you. "Of course I feel anxious because…"

Use positive dialogue to talk yourself through the anxious time. It will pass. Examples may be, “It’s just anxiety. It will go away. I will not lose control. I can still go about my business. It won’t hurt me”

Get busy. Do something to release some of this self-induced stimulation. Your body is like a car in 5th gear with the parking brake on/ don’t just sit there. Distract yourself from the way you feel.

To see a little humour in the way you feel. You feel weird but you don’t look weird.

It takes time and lots of practice. The only way to stop fearing panic and anxiety is to experience them. Then work your way through them and begin to see that they won’t hurt you.
There is no need to run. You are your safe place and your safe person. You can make yourself feel better.

Wilson

2010-02-04T04:37:00.000-08:00

Let's chat about pets and balance. Some of you may have heard me talking about our dog Wilson. Besides being a great companion, I am training him to be comfortable in the office. Most clients love having him around and he senses when someone is upset. He gently sits by their feet and just is.

He has this capacity to just be rather than do- something we humans need to learn. We are very busy doing and spend little, if any time in quiet contemplation which is essential to remaining balanced.

Clients often ask me how I remain balanced. Let me tell you, it's taken a long time to get a handle on that and sometimes, it still slips away from me. Here are some of the things I do and maybe you will get some inspiration. Monday mornings I take Boomer Yoga with Leslie Landry. It's a gentle flow yoga that is geared to people 45 and up.
Throughout the day, I take mini breaks where I do some deep breathing and quiet my inner self.
I listen for sounds and stop the monkey brain.
On the weekend, we go for a hike in the woods, either along the Bruce Trail or the conservation areas.(Crawford Lake is a personal favorite-very spiritual place)
I take courses that expand my professional knowledge and just fun stuff. This weekend I am doing a workshop on vision boards.
Taking Wilson for walks and playing with him is just fun.
Finally, I don't take myself too seriously.

2010-02-04T03:51:00.000-08:00

Let's chat about the shift in attitudes since the recession. As an active member of the Burlington Chamber of Commerce,www.burlingtonchamber.com I attended a presentation focusing on the economic trends for 2010. Ray Kong from Ipsos.ca gave a presentation on the new trends and attititudes for 2010. If you go to their website you can subscribe to their trend watch newsletter.
The 4 key trend words in business and with the consumer are:prudent,careful,value and safety.
Gone are the days of the "extreme razor". Scotia Bank caught on to this by selling optimism" you're richer than you think". The LCBO changed "Don't drink and drive" to "arrive alive".
P.S. If you are a business owner in the Burlington area, check out the Chamber. The committees are a vital part of the business community and it's a great way to contribute and make a change.

If it is to be, it's up to me

Trust Yourself! The truth is in there

2010-02-03T14:32:00.000-08:00

Let's chat about intuition...that nagging little voice that says "yup..sounds good to me" or"stand clear and run as fast as you can!" The mystery is, why do we ignore it. Why do we think out intellects are smarter than our guts?
Our North American culture values intellect over all else and yet, the opposite is the truth. If you look back on your life and truly asked yourself about the good and bad decisions you made, you may respond by saying" I knew that all along".
There is a physiological explanation The gut is also know as our "second brain" and has more seratonin than the brain. Hmmm... so the brain takes in all the cues- words, body language, aromas etc. and sends them to the gut which sends the message back to the brain.
Don't ignore your gut feelings.

On Line Counselling Lets Off Some Steam

2010-02-03T12:23:00.000-08:00

http://www.thespec.com/News/Business/article/706180

Thanks to Rosie-Ann Grover for a great article in the business section of the Spectator

When the Body Says No-The cost of hidden stress

2009-12-05T09:47:00.000-08:00

Being in the helping field, my compassion for others can wear me down so from time to time I head off for day long workshops. This past Monday, I had the absolute delight of listening to Dr. Gabor Mate. He has written the books 'Scattered Minds" about ADD, "Hold On to Your Kids" and "When the Body Says No". He is the expert on the mind and body connection and the effects of stress on our bodies. http://www.whenthebodysaysno.ca/
Here are his characteristics of the stress-prone personality

Difficulty saying no
Automatic and impulsive regard for the needs of others without considering one's own
Rigid and compulsive identification with duty, role, and responsibility rather than with true self
Habitual repression or suppression of healthy anger and assertion
Belief that you must never disappoint anyone.

I sure could see myself with some of those qualities! How about you?

The Joy of Quieting the Mind

2009-12-03T04:08:00.000-08:00

Whenever I mention meditation to my clients, they look like they want to run out the door screaming. Meditation is not a big deal. It's something you can practice when you are doing other things, like waiting in line, sitting at a stoplight etc.
Take a long deep breath in through your nose right down to your belly. Exhale slowly by pulling your belly button towards your spine. Repeat this about 3 times and at the same time, pay attention to your breath. Notice how it feels going through your body and if a thought should come into your mind, just notice it without judgment and let it go.
Eureka! Calmer, more relaxed and more focused.
Kimberly Ryan has an awesome guided meditation CD. Visit her site and give it a listen
http://www.amomentformyself.com/purchase-cd.html

No More Rehashing the Old Stuff

2009-12-01T15:12:00.000-08:00

"Stress is the trash of modern life-we all generate it but if you don't dispose of it properly. it will pile up and overtake your life"- Danzae Pace

According to a recent article in Moods magazine, our brain does not distinguish between an actual event and the emotions connected to the event. Every time we rehash and retell the story, our bodies are subjected to the same stress it experienced during the past event.
Think about it. Remember the last argument you had and when you told someone else the story, you got all upset again.
We don't need more studies on the link between stress and illness. We have been studying it since the late 1800's. It is now time for the thinkers in our society to start doing something different. In fact, it's time for employers to implement services that address stress as it happens.

Words to Live By

2009-11-26T12:08:00.000-08:00

If we are willing to look at another person’s behaviour towards us as a reflection of the state of their relationship with themselves rather than as a statement about our value as a person, we will over a period of time cease to react to all.

No More 'Whys"

2009-11-26T04:34:00.000-08:00

I get these newsletters daily from Neale Walsch. I wanted to share this one.
So often clients try so hard to figure out why someone did something to them, or why they think a certain way, or why they did something stupid. Sometimes, we don't know the answer so in the meantime, while we are trying to figure it out, think about this...
...that "Why is this happening?" is the most useless
question in the Universe.

The only really profitable question is, "What?" As in,
"What do I choose now?" This question empowers.
The "why" question simply perplexes, and rarely
satisfies even when it gets a good answer.

So don't try to "figure it out." Stop it. Just focus on
what you now wish to create. Keep moving forward.
There's nothing behind you that can possibly serve
you better than your highest thoughts about tomorrow.

Get Rid of the 'Neg Nogs'

2009-11-26T04:19:00.000-08:00

‘ Neg Nogs’ – Definition: Negative Noggins –
otherwise known as negative thinkers – often
unwittingly imposing their negative energy on
others.
I am often amazed that people put more energy
into negative thoughts and less into positive
thoughts. Strangely, we believe negative thinking is
more realistic than positive thinking. I see my
clients believing that positive thinking is something
“out there” – almost imaginary or not attainable.
Negative thoughts are the opposite of positive
thoughts. That’s all; nothing more spectacular than
that. We simply exercise our choice by choosing the
negative over the positive. We are often very clear
about what is wrong or negative in our lives, and yet
we struggle to create a more positive outlook.
We all know one or two people who complain about
everything! It is important to surround ourselves
with positive people, places, and events.
“Character is built out of circumstances. From
exactly the same materials, one person builds
palaces while another builds hovels.”- G.H. Lewis
Negative people build hovels. Positive people build
palaces.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

2009-11-22T07:03:00.000-08:00

The book’s premise is that we all could benefit from learning to relax, breath, and contemplate how we really want to live life. I went looking for coping skills on how to better manage the external aspects of my busy life, but discovered that the secrets were in how I was internally thinking and/or reacting to life. Whole new worlds of thinking were opened up to me that gave me an inkling of what my life could be like if I could adjust my approach. Those big challenges that were constantly getting in my way were only as ‘big’ as I let them be. What if I could internally view them as ‘small stuff’?

As I read I recognized myself and my thinking patterns almost instantly, and then I started turning down the corners of various pages. For example, chapter 2 (only 1.5 pages into the book) is titled, ‘Make Peace with Imperfection’. What? You mean I don’t have to be perfect in everything that I do in order to be OK? I don’t remember Mom telling me that! Chapter 3; ‘Let Go of the Idea that Gentle, Relaxed People Can’t Be Superachievers’. And, he even has true life examples of calm people achieving great things! Wow, wouldn’t that be cool to be a successful person whose heart is not always racing? Chapter 4; ‘Be Aware of the Snowball Effect of Your Thinking’. You know how that goes. Have one scary or stressful thought, and then let that roll into the next scary thought, and then you are moving into a crisis, and then that crisis is going to bankrupt you, and then you will have no family or friends left, and then what will you do? All this and you are still laying in bed trying to get back to sleep. Hmmm! Maybe this is just in your head. Maybe you’re not going to have a crisis and be alone for the rest of your life. Maybe if you had consciously stopped your imagination after that first scary thought and decided not to go bankrupt tonight while trying to sleep, you could actually go back to sleep and continue living your life again tomorrow morning.

I chuckle when I look back now at my copy of the book. Four of the first five chapters have the corners turned down, and then I must have realized that I was going to ruin the whole book if I continued in this pattern. So I just settled in, two minutes at a time, hidden up in the master bathroom, a couple of times a day, getting life lessons from a great little, insightful and thought provoking book. Little did I know that that was only the beginning of my journey towards a more calm, confident, and joyful approach to life. I’ll let you know when I get there completely, but in the meantime I am loving the journey.

Visit Kim @

http://www.linkedin.com/in/kimsunderland